Labels: Why Do We Have to Label Everything?

Dec 7, 2024

3 min read

It’s Thursday night, 9:20 p.m., and you’re scrolling through TikTok, again 😅.

A video pops up: some guy acting out a scene between a narcissistic man and an avoidant woman on a first date.

You relate to the avoidant attachment style because, well, you once took a random personality test on Google, and that’s what it said you were.

Curious, you head to the comments and click the highlighted “avoidant attachment in women” search bar. Suddenly, you’re sucked into a rabbit hole of buzzwords, perspectives, and psychoanalysis. By the time you resurface, you’re fed up.

Like, seriously, what’s up with all these labels? Why can’t we just be?

Why Do We Love Labels So Much?

Let’s be real, why are we so obsessed with slapping labels on everything?

Sexuality, personality types, attachment styles, zodiac signs...

If there’s a word for it, we’ll claim it.

Yeah, I get it; labels help us make sense of things.

They give us a sense of identity:

“Oh, that’s why I act this way.”
Or, they help us find community: “Finally, people who get it!”

But at some point, it feels like too much. Instead of self-discovery, it becomes a maze of definitions, all trying to pin down who you are. The more you try to fit into one box, the more confusing it gets.

Comfort or Chaos?

We love labels because they simplify life. They’re shortcuts for understanding.

Instead of explaining all your quirks, flaws, and contradictions, you can just say,

“I’m an avoidant Gemini with an INFJ personality.” Case closed.

But here’s the thing, labels don’t tell the full story.

Sure, they’re convenient, but they can also be limiting. If I call myself avoidant, does that mean I’m stuck acting that way forever?

Do I have to be avoidant because some random quiz said so? It’s like we start living up to the label instead of letting ourselves just be human.

When It Gets Exhausting.

Let’s be honest, sometimes labels do more harm than good. Like when people judge you based on your zodiac sign. “Oh, you’re a Gemini? That makes so much sense.” What’s that even supposed to mean?

Or when you read about your attachment style and suddenly think, “Wow, I’m so broken”. The more we label ourselves, the more we risk boxing ourselves into categories we don’t even fit. We forget we’re messy, complex, and wonderfully imperfect people.

What If We Didn’t Need Labels?

Imagine if we didn’t have to define everything. What if you didn’t need to know your Myers-Briggs type, your love language, or your Enneagram number to feel understood?

On one hand, it sounds freeing, no pressure to fit a definition of who you’re “supposed” to be. But on the other hand, how do we explain ourselves without that common language? Without labels, could we risk being misunderstood?

It’s About Balance.

Maybe the problem isn’t the labels themselves, it’s how we use them. Labels are fine if they help you understand yourself or relate to others. But they’re not the whole picture.

You’re not just an avoidant, a Pisces, or a “gifted kid burnout.” You’re a whole person, layered, contradictory, and ever-changing. And no label will ever fully define you.